Just a little announcement, tomorrow is my birthday so this will be my last post for the weekend... I think. Tomorrow will probably be a busy day. I decided to write today about something I read in the Runner's World Racing News
It was about a girl named Molly Huddle who said, "I need to be less afraid of trying to win...I can’t always doubt whether I can go with 600 left. I need to work on being a little more aggressive and being a little less intimidated by other people on the track."
I think that's something I am afraid of. Yes, you heard it, and you can quote me on that--Run fearless is afraid starting with fear of being great. I'm afraid of winning I think. I'm afraid of both positive and negative consequences that come from it. I think I'm afraid that if I start winning then I will become prideful, full of myself and forget the important people primarily God. I don't want that to happen.
I'm also afraid of injury. I think that's why I've had so many injuries in my life. Tons of tendonitis, stress fractures, twisted ankles etc. I have to get over that and hopefully we will be hearing/reading (from) a guest blogger about how to get rid of that.
I am afraid of failure. I am afraid that everything I'm setting out to do will not work out I will have failed.
The last thing I'm afraid of is letting people down. I don't want to let myself down. I don't want to let my wife down. I don't want to let you down or anyone for that matter. I want to be what everyone thinks I am. Or at least I want to be what I think that everyone thinks I am. What I think people think is that I'm great, incredible, amazing etc. Really, I'm just an ordinary kid trying to extraordinary things while I'm alive on this earth. That is why I want to run fearless.
I can honestly say I have never understood why people say they are afraid of being successful. That famous quote that says people are afraid they are powerful beyond their imagination has never made sense to me. I have been afraid many times that I was going to fail, but never that I was going to succeed. Success is what I long for.
ReplyDeleteCould you elaborate a little more on why you think people fear being powerful and successful?
Firstly, just a small reflection on my part:
ReplyDeleteYou assume that you have been injured a lot because getting injured is what you are afraid of. Do you think that theory is applicable to other notions as well, like failure and letting people down? If not, why would that theory only be true when it comes to the injury aspect? Like MAF said: Could you elaborate, please?
Secondly, I do recognize everything you talk about, except for the injury theory. Personally, I am terrified of failure and especially of letting others down. Throughout my life I've tried so hard to avoid it, that I have somewhat lost myself in the process.
Yeah I definitely think being successful can be scary. Everybody has different trials that they go through, and believe it or not, being successful is a type of trial. How easy is it to forget God or forget the really important things in life when everything goes good? Really easy. When I really feel successful is when I am working hard, when I barely have any time to devote to myself or to focus on just me, when I am learning and studying and serving. When I have weeks where everything goes right, how easy is it to think I deserve it, or to be a little lazy and not work as hard?
ReplyDelete