01 December 2011

Hard Decisions

I just got back from a 3/4 mile warm-up, 20 minute tempo at 6:00/mile pace, 6 minute recovery jog, 6 x 200 meters at my "R" pace which is 38 seconds with 200 meter recovery jogs after each one and then a 2.5 mile cool down at my "E" pace which is 7:34/mile. It was tough, there was ice and snow on the ground and a pretty good wind blowing south, which was a side-wind for half of the tempo and a beautiful head-wind for the other half.  It felt good; I feel good.  I'm not sure what the future holds and I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, but here's your update.

I Am Grateful

Today I went to Walmart with my son.  I saw a bum begging and decided I would remember to do my part and get a loaf of bread.  I forgot until I was out the doors, so I turned around, went back in, bought a loaf of the cheapest white bread and drove out of the parking lot.

I went out of my way so I could give him the bread.  Instead of going in the left turn lane, which is what I would have done, I went in the straight/turn-right lane and rolled down the window.  The sign he was holding said a few things, but "Hungry" was definitely written on it.  I showed him the bread before throwing it to him, but before I could, he yelled, "No.  I don't have nothin' to put on it!" Are you JOKING ME!!! I mean SERIOUSLY!  You are a BUM and you are BEGGING and you aren't going to take my bread because you don't have nothin' to put on it?!?!?!?!?  So I proceeded to throw the bread to him, not at him, and I said, "You just gotta be grateful for what you get."  And I said it nice, but with a little sass I guess and then I drove off.  Anyways, I just wanted to share that and I am grateful for the blessings in my life.  I would like to think that I would take a loaf of bread if I was poor and begging.

Next time I'll be peanut butter, jelly and have two disposable knives on hand.  I'm serious.

Introduction

Since  I last wrote I've been doing a lot of running, praying and soul-searching.  I went to a wedding in Utah of a close friend.  I made a cool video of my son talking.  I read a cool book called The Alchemist which was awesome and inspiring, full of good insight.  I also watched two old-school movies that pushed me over the edge, in a manner of speaking, and was the impetus for my decisions as of late.

My Training

If you go to my Training Since September page you'll see ALL of my workouts since I started my "Olympic" training.  I haven't gotten sick since April, so I'm healthy (although I have been eating a TON of sugar and refined carbs, which for me is almost a sin, maybe not for you, but just for me).  I haven't been seriously injured, just some minor aches and pains.  I was going to do a time trial this week, but then it snowed and got really cold.  I'm not sure what I'll do, but something must be done.


Dreams and Fulfillment

I'm going to be straight up honest and direct: I will never give up on my dream.  It will always be with me.  I've been trying to get rid of it for 10+ years, do you think I can get rid of it now? Nope.  Sorry.  And if you want to tell me I can't, please do, just know that someday, down the road you may be sorry.  You may regret your negative words of pessimism.  Just know I never told you that you couldn't do it.  I may not accomplish my dream the way I've always thought, winning a gold medal at age 27, my prime, in the London Summer Olympics--maybe it'll be when I'm 51 at the Masters World Championships, when I'm faster at age 51 then I ever was at age 17.  Who knows? I don't, and I don't want to put limits on the human body.  People that do that only get proven wrong.

Sunday night, November 20th, we returned home from Utah having gone to a friend's wedding.  My sister was watching these old-school LDS films like The Telephone  and Cipher in the Snow. I remembered there was one about a runner called John Baker's Last Run about this guy who was a fast runner and while he was training for the Olympics and being an elementary school P.E. coach/teacher found out he had cancer and died a year and a half later.  I then watched another short film on the same DVD called Emmet Smith which is about this high school cross country and track coach who had a brain tumor, but after his operation did everything he could to get better and help people etc.  Anyways, the acting is horrible, but the stories were inspiring.  I felt so good and so bad at the same time.  I've only been working part-time, and Amy and I have cut back on a few things to save money, but it's not enough.  I realized that although my goal is not a bad goal, the way I'm going about it may be wrong.  I think I've been selfish.

1 Timothy 5:8 says, "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." I believe that's true.  I had to learn it independent of anyone.  Amy has been extremely supportive and never has said a word about me pursuing my dream to be selfish, but I know that I have been failing at my familial responsibilities.  Okay, maybe not failing, but I'm not doing as well as I should be.  


Conclusion


If my dream is right then it will happen as long as I am working hard and doing what I should be doing.  I have faith in God that He will see to it that I can accomplish everything He has put into my heart.  I need to earn more money, get out of debt and provide better for my family.  End of story, or should I say, beginning.  Ha, ha, ha, ha!  More on my training and racing plan for the future to come.  Stay tuned boys and girls.